Recently, some friends and I were discussing our personal take on the concept of "lesbian Identity." Needless to say, the perceptions shared were fascinating, but what I found of even more interest was the underlying thoughts of identity. 

Some wimmin responded with their feelings of why they identify as a lesbian. Others responded with a more 'global' approach on living as a lesbian.
The different approaches signal to me that identity truly has more meaning to each individual person, than any of us realized.

Ask yourself this:
... Is your idea of lesbian identity about yourself or about your relationships?

For me, "lesbian identity" is about defining my life and the spirit within that motivates and guides me.

There are some folks who hold the belief that "lesbian identity" is wimmin who lust after wimmin, promiscuous and indiscriminately involved with any womyn. 
These folks identify lesbians as sexual predators, aggressively pursuing sex with every womyn (or grrl) encountered. 
This narrow definition effectively strips us of our humanity, leaving us nothing more than sexual beings.

I believe that we reinforce this narrow view of the lesbian identity when we define ourselves by our sexuality, excusing our not coming out as "no one's business." 
How many times have you hidden behind (or heard), "I don't come out to so-and-so because what I do in my bedroom is no one's business." 
Do we stop to consider the message we are sending? And if so, perhaps it is time for us to seriously consider if our lesbian identity begins and ends in the bedroom.

By defining ourselves by our sexual activity - as only that which happens in the bedroom - we become one-dimensional. 
In a world filled with three-dimensional relationships, we allow our relationships to become hollow and meaningless, or at best, something that only exists hidden away from public view - in the bedroom.

In the same breath, there are circumstances where it is in a womyns best interest to not come out. 
Personal safety - be it physical, family or financial - must be considered above all else. The risk factors must be weighed by each individual, and because of certain bigotries, there are some who 'must' carry the heavy burden of hiding their lesbian identity.

Finally, in case you were wondering, my definition of "lesbian identity," is about affirmation. 
Lesbian identity is a positive action - loving and honouring wimmin - not a negative or avoidance - the rejection of men - as many unknowingly assume. 

Lesbian identity is about creating a life-bond with a womyn, which in turn creates love, pride and strength within every aspect of our lives - not just what we share in the bedroom.